Friday, May 06, 2005

Fryday... 3 days

Yesterday was Thursday, you know? It seemed like only yesterday.

Pre-work Checklist (cont'd):
UNchecked - Thursday study for exam.
Check - Thursday night BBQ with Dive people.
Check - Fryday study before exam.
Check - Fryday exam 0230-0430H; Undergraduate life completed.

Thursday night BBQ with Dive people
I was driving along Adam road's right-most lane when i saw the sign "Arcadia Road 100m ahead" and it was too late. Driving another 400m ahead to get to a U-turn, then another 1km in order to U-turn again, and made sure i kept left this time to turn into Arcadia road. Got to the end of the road, DEAD END, must've missed it; i did, but i got there eventually at 2230H.

Had some drinks, and some food which was left over, caught up with some of the Similans Dive Trip people (Olivier, Anne, Corneliu, Shin, Jiebao, Basil, Alvin, Huizhen, and birthday boy Kimsong), and Chinyeh (who didn't go on the trip but whom i knew from Lifesaving). Photos will be up soon when they send me the photos from their camera. Left at 2359H and gave Olivier, Anne and Corneliu a lift back to their places in S.BuonaVista & WestCoast. It was nice catching up with them...

1000-1430H: (attempted to) study
I finally took out my Bahasa Indonesia Level 2 textbook out and started studying at 1000H this morning. In the middle of it and even before the second chapter was flipped through, i got distracted and... -try to recall- I actually forgot what i did. Really can't imagine how i managed to forget. Wierd. Anyway, i continued studying till it was time for the final paper of my undergraduate life, ill-prepared, apprehensive of what comes after, pensive...

It's Over - Examinations as a student.
It's Now - In the library, darkness all around, no one in sight, all alone.
It's Coming - A page turned; full time job beginning 0830H Monday.

Alone, and lonely.
I should be out enjoying myself, shopping or watching a movie or drinking or clubbing or something... or should i? There is peace right where i am, but it's tough: i like being alone but i fear being lonely. Loneliness is a silent killer...

Happy, or sad?
The exams are over, university is complete, but am i happy? There is an emptiness within with the closing of this chapter; how do i resolve it? Time usually settles these holes in my life, time filling the emptiness with other things. However are they really filled or just temporarily covered? I think the latter because i am always uncovering them, recalling that which is past and hovering over them... Indeed it is unhealthy, but it is how i am.

This song is how Dank is feeling right now, with Dank the one being sung to... To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks


Upcoming:
Saturday lunch with Similan Islands Trip friend.
Saturday out to drink/club, hopefully.
Sunday blank out, feel lost and spaced out at a chapter closed.
Monday 0830H work.

I should mention that i am feeling alone, and lonely...

1 Comments:

Anonymous jy said...

Its part of life to be alone and lonely at times. Pick up the phone and call a friend, or just enjoy the peace within you.

Sat May 07, 11:24:00 AM  

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